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Self Care Isn’t All About Butt Waxing, Taking Vitamins, or Getting Your Nails Done
Well, I don’t know about you, but I can’t stomach any more self care tips. From butt waxing, super vitamins, DIY nail gels, and 5 miraculous ways to have salon styled hair without going to beauty school, I have heard it all.
I was watching Brene Brown on 60 Minutes a couple of weeks ago and realized how important vulnerability is to self-care. I decided after watching her on 60 Minutes, coupled with one of her first Ted Talks, to give myself permission to be vulnerable. So, here we are. Just you and me. Let’s all just stop lying about self-care we are not practicing and keep it real. We cannot practice self -care without some self-truth.
Who is actually really doing all of that stuff, anyways?
If you are, well I am super proud of you that you are on point with life right now.
The reality of life at the moment for most of us is, we are working from home, staying at home, eating at home, playing at home, and doing everything from home. We are not leaving home. We are just not doing life right now. And it is definitely not unicorns and rainbows.
Wear your bra so you can have your better than sex moment everyday
I promise you one thing, I am never going to complain about wearing a bra again. There is no better relief than a hard day’s work, coming home, busting those hooks apart and ripping that tight elastic off of sweaty boobs in the summer time.
Well, I have realized at age 50, going without a bra for 4 weeks, I would really love to wear a bra.
Self Truth: The boob sweat is inevitable. It is not going away.
So, self-care tip numero uno – wear a bra. At least you can still have that everyday “better than sex” moment you look forward to everyday.
Brush your ratty hair
As I was sitting having a therapy session with a client, I decided I didn’t like my hair up so I took it down. I have no one to run their hands through my hair due to Rona and social distancing so I decided to run my hands through my own hair. As I ran my hands through my hair, rubbing my scalp where my ponytail holder has been for the past 15 years, I came across this big chunk.
Have you ever seen a dog with long, wet hair after it dries? Yeah, those big matted chunks.
That was my hair.
Self truth: I need to brush my hair.
Self-care: brush your hair, or you are going to need more than a hairstylist when life returns to halfway normal. Wearing ponytails and buns to cover up the truth doesn’t work. Trust me. People notice.
Eat banana pudding sparingly
I was craving banana pudding the other day. I don’t even like banana pudding. But I made enough for an army, ate some, had a stomach ache, and then gave half of it away. Most of the other half was what I gave away to my tummy yesterday.
Along with the 20 Nilla Wafers I ate before I made it in the first place.
Self truth: I get bad food cravings when I am home alone, cooped up in the house, with nowhere to go. But, I also get food cravings when I am on the road. The truth is, I love food and I just eat too dang much.
Self care tip – only make enough for yourself and the fam. Otherwise, you are going to eat the whole pan and have a stomach ache. Overeating makes you fat like me. Don’t do it. Try to do better.
Do what Brene Brown says and embrace your vulnerability
I participated in a group discussion today online for one of the groups I am in and in all my “feeling sorry for myself” glory today, just went in on poor me. Oh yes it is all about me ! There is no greater glory than sitting around at your very own pity party. I put it all out there as I sit here feeling fat as ever from all that banana pudding, tired from no sleep, and the same dress I had on two days ago. I certainly didn’t forget to crack some jokes, and I also didn’t forget to laugh at myself.
Self truth: I pretend to have it all together when a lot of times I do not. I secretly just don’t have my stuff together all the time. Now just happens to be one of those times.
Self-care tip: dig deep and stop lying to yourself that everything is perfect and okay when it is not. Vent. Tell the truth. Be vulnerable. Laugh at yourself.
Get rid of the period panties. Throw them away.
I have literally hibernated in my office for four weeks. Or is it six weeks? I don’t know because the days, weeks and nights all look about the same. I get up, pee, eat, and that is about it. Did you know that wearing a dress makes it much easier to use the bathroom? It is even more fabulous when I don’t have to wear pantyhose.
I recently redid my panty drawer. I haven’t seen the lacy panties in weeks.
Self truth: I need get rid of the period panties. They are just way too easy. They are the epitome of “I feel like crap.”
Self care tip: Clean out the panty drawer. Get rid of the holy panties. If you don’t believe me, read Self Confidence Begins With a New Pair of Panties.
Stop being crabby and get some sleep
I am 50 years old and have waited my whole life to stay up all night long and seemingly have no responsibilities. Sitting in my house alone, working from sun up until sun up, doing whatever I want, when I want, and with anyone I want is just fabulous. It’s great and wonderful talking to myself about work, work, work. And that the longer I am awake the more fabulous my voice sounds.
That was not a typo. I said from sun up to sun up. My body hurts. My legs are swollen from sitting all day and night, and there is more work to get done.
Self truth: I am crabby and tired from no sleep. I am bored. I need sleep. And I annoy myself.
Self-care tip: Sleep. Get sleep. No one wants to deal with someone who is crabby and irritable all day. The worst person of all to annoy, is yourself.
Moral of the story
Sitting at home in isolation, eating bad food, not sleeping, not taking a break from work, and neglecting yourself are bad habits. They will leave you feeling horrible about yourself inside and out. But, so does hiding the fact that you’re a hot mess.
Get real with yourself
Take the time to get real with yourself and not use all of these internet self-care tips to put a band-aid on the reality that social distancing SUCKS. Hot baths feel great. Exercise is good for you. Eating healthy is important and so is sleep. Do all of it. They are simple things. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
Admit there are times we just suck at life
What is complicated, though, is how difficult life becomes when we take things for granted. It gets complicated when life suddenly changes and we don’t allow ourselves to just admit that sometimes we suck at life. I am not so sure I am as great at life as I think I am.
And it took being alone to teach me that.
And just a side note, in Brene Brown’s 60 Minutes episode, “Epicenter,” she said, ironically, she “sucks at vulnerability.” That is kind of my proof that it is perfectly okay to admit that sometimes we all just suck at life no matter how well put together we think we are.
But, we all have to start somewhere.
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Brene Brown is one of my heroes (aside from God and Maya Angelou). She has some amazing books that I highly recommend. I only recommend things that I trust and believe in myself.